The Offenders...
Happy Totally Psychotic Bunny Day! |
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First off I would like to say Happy Easter to all of you here, thank you for stopping by! Today is the day that people go to church, get together with family, dye eggs in all kinds of different colors and hide them with the intention of sending their beloved children out to find said eggs.
Truth be told, this tradition has nothing to do with the joy a child feels playing hide and seek with the hidden eggs, and everything to do with giving these tired and burned out parents a moments peace from little Larry's constant temper tantrums or little Suzie's constant talking and laundry from her changing clothes 50 times a day.
Let's not forget the portrait with said beloved child and the Easter bunny to commemorate this joyous occasion. Most of the time, unless the child is under 5 and has never seen this freakishly large bunny, this portrait sitting takes about 3 minutes tops. You wait about 5 minutes for it to be developed and presto, your picture is done! Your child's life is now complete.... Unless of course you happened to get Mr. Easter bunny's older, alcoholic cousin (Jack) who loves nothing more than scaring the living daylights out of children. So much so that it (Easter bunnies) become a phobia for these children for years to come, and well into adulthood. Some would even say that Jack is responsible for more phobias than your common clown. To show you what I mean, I just happen to have a few pictures with Jack and some of the children who were unfortunate enough to ever grace his lap...
This is Jack's first evil picture with a child. As you can see by the wild look in his eye, it was totally unplanned. His wife had just left him and he had a bit too much to drink that night. I hear this kid grew up hating all bunnies and is now an avid hunter.
Next we have Little James  As you can see here, Jack was still in his I could give a rats patootie stage. His wife had not only moved out, but had filed for divorce. These were some very dark days for Jack. You will notice that little James seems totally unfazed, unknown to Jack, both of James' parents were alcoholics and he had seen far worse than this bunneh could EVER deliver up! 10 Years later, little Suzie and Jack  As you can tell, he has calmed down since the last picture. Jack has finally come to terms with his wife leaving him. but, judging by the look on his face, he no longer trusts women; even the little ones. But, I am happy to say, he kept his composure and did not scare little Suzie. Lucky for her, he had joined a little club with 12 steps the month before. Suzie, you just don't know how fortunate you were... 20 Years later... 
Who says you can't teach an old bunny new tricks. It looks like Jack has not only gotten over his hatred and mistrust of women, he is visiting hospitals and cheering the sick.
This is the last picture we have of Jack before the conviction.
As it turns out, the hospital visits to cheer the sick were all a sham. He still hated all women for the things his ex-wife had done to him and became the leader of an underground organ smuggling ring. His visits were only to see who would be his next victim.
He is now serving 3 life sentences.
Happy Easter Everyone! Lady Wit |
Win of the week Feb.19,2010 |
| Sorry for not posting a win of the week last week, but when you get sick there is really nothing you can do about it but lay out and do your best to get well. Why yes, I am feeling better! Thank you for asking. :) This weeks win of the week comes from YouTuber: Freddiew. You can find more of his videos at: www.youtube.com/user/freddiew I have not seen any of his other videos besides this one so I can't tell you if his channel is family friendly or not. I did want to give him credit though, after all, this is his video! Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did! Lady Wit |
Stupid Cupid There are many things that can strike fear in the heart of a man. Things that he has no control over like, 1) The breaking down of his car. 2) The only restroom in the store being occupied when he really has to go. and... 3) Finding out it is February 14 while he is on his way to work. But, this is not every man. There are some out there that are diligent with keeping track of Holidays and Birthdays. Yes, these men have learned. Maybe not in the easiest way, but they have learned. How you may ask???? Maybe becuase of a Birthday. He comes home from work to his loving wife and there she is, smile on her face, love in her heart, and then it hits him.... He forgot her Birthday!!!! He will do his best to make it up to her! He even told her he would run to the store right then and there just to make it up to her. (Not realizing that he was only making it worse) But that look in her eyes, the pout of her mouth, that pan flying across the kitchen.... YES, this was enough to teach him once and for all that this was an offence that was NOT to be repeated!!! But there are still the "others" The ones who are playing the dating game who have yet to figure this out. That is where I, Lady Wit, come into play. I am here to keep you from making a mistake that could cost you your relationship, your sanity, and yes, even a trip to the hospital all because you got her the wrong present. Now, if you are reading this thinking that you will stop by the gas station to pick up a single *read, wilted* rose and a little heart shaped box full of those nasty chocolates that she will never, I repeat, NEVER, eat. Then go ahead, don't listen to me. But, when your relationship is over in a month, don't say I didn't try to warn you! *For a woman* There is nothing worse then going out and spending all that time finding your man the perfect gift, only to find out that you were just an after thought! (YES, this is EXACTLY what she will think) I could sit here and tell you all of the things that you could get her to make her feel all loved and special, but instead, I'm going to tell you things NOT to buy her! If you stay away from these relationship killers, you might have a chance for long term happiness.... Lets begin! Lady Wit's Top 10 List of Valentines Day Relationship Killers! 10) Name a star after her...  Yeah, nothing says "I'm a cheesy sap" like buying one of these bad boys. As it turns out it was all a big scam. Hope none of you fell for this... 9) A Candy Bikini  There is a chance that you might be able to get away with buying her this little raunchy delight. There may also be a 50% chance that you are not dating the kind of woman that finds this funny! If you are set on buying this "bikini" make sure that you do it on your Birthday, seeing as it is for you anyway... 8) A suggestive coffee cup  Not only will you get scalding coffee thrown at you with impressive force, you still have to worry about that coffee cup pelting you after the threat of the actual coffee is out of the way. Never mind the break up that is sure to come after all the throwing and screaming occurs. Be afraid, be very afraid.... 7) Shaving a heart "tattoo" on to your already sweater-y looking back!  If you really loved her, you would have shaved the whole thing! Better yet, keep it shaved and N-E-V-E-R let it grow back again. Nuff said! 6) An anitomically correct chocolate heart.  Unless you are dating a Doctor, she will NOT be amused! 5) Extendable toe nail clippers.  Unless you met her in the geriatric ward, don't you even DARE try to pull this one off!!!!!!!!!!! 4) Lighter Brand  Ahhhh, nothing says I think you are my trashy piece of property like a customised lighter brand..... 3) Valentines TP  SERIOUSLY, I need to spell this one out for you?????? 2) Toothy Jewelry  I can see the headline now.... Man taken to hospital with wicked tooth ache! Don't forget the per-ma tattoo you will have on your forehead from where she punched you with this brilliant gift of yours!!! 1) Home DNA Testing Kit  All because you thought it was now or never..... I sincerely hope you take my suggestions. I really want to see you make it to live another year. I'd hate to lose a reader over a bad gift. Hope you have a Happy Valentines Day Lady Wit *Notice* I know this was a day late, but I have been under the weather with a "bug" of some sort. Please forgive my tardiness.
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Win of the week Feb.5,2010 |
| Here is a video that will not soon be forgotten. I first saw this video last night.It was posted by a friend on Facebook and has become one of my favotires! Enjoy, Lady Wit |
You don't want NUN of this, then again, maybe you DO! |
 These are appropriately called Nun-chucks! *O.k., I will give you a minute to laugh your head off like I did when I first saw this little gem* (Insert theme music to Jeopardy) O.k., are you done??? Good! So a friend of mine received this amazingly awesome gift for Christmas. When I first saw them I can't tell you how much I LOL'ED my head of, then again, you probably already know..... You're still laughing aren't you??? Either way, it was enough to make my day! So, when I finally regained my composure, I went looking on the inter-webz and found out that there are many things that these Nuns are doing. If you think that these women are just sitting around a convent praying, or hanging out in the classrooms all day looking for a knuckle to beat down, then you are SADLY mistaken my friend. As I was looking at these pictures I decided to write about these nuns in poem form. Almost as if I were at a Nun dealership! *AHEM* Nuns at church and nuns at school, I bet you never knew these nuns were soo cool! So many nuns, so little writing space, but, give me some time to put a smile on your face. There are: Paper nuns...  Shaker nuns..  anywhere you can take them nuns. Nuns on bikes..  Nuns as little tykes.  No matter where you are, you might see these nuns sitting at a bar!  We have flying nuns  Nuns with guns  and we also have, nuns on the run!  Nuns on a swing  and Nun playthings  We have: Hippie nuns  Dippy nuns..  Pirate eyed  and trippy nuns!  Nuns from the dark side  Nuns with a wild side  Nuns for interrogation  and even some for modelization!  Don't you panic, we even have Nun Mechanics  Peeking nuns  seeking Nuns  Game show nuns  and games of fun!  Nuns that want to wash your sins away  we even have nuns as bid....  awww man! Is this what I think it is??? Yikes, there is always someone out there who takes it too far. This, my friend is the very definition of too far..... What were they thinking??? Lady Wit |
Pants on the ground, not in this town! |
| I am sure that all of you here have heard of the pants on the ground guy. If you are breathing you have heard of this guy! Not only has he become a TV sensation, this video of him has been put on YouTube, been dubbed, and re-dubbed with music and all kinds of other stuff. Why is it such a hit???? Mmmm, I don't know, maybe because this is a fashion that refuses to DIE! Come on Kids, this trend started when I was in Jr. High.... *GASP* 17 YEARS AGO!!!!!! If it wasn't for the law of abuse to a minor, I would carry around a BB gun and shoot these kids in the buttocks, kind of a mini-spanking from me to you. You know, the one your momma shoulda gave you for trying to leave the house looking that way! After doing a little research, I found that this little "style" originated in the prison houses because the inmates were not allowed belts. WHY? Because they would use said belts as weapons and were not allowed to have them, and because of this, saggy pants. Rappers picked up this "fashion" as a way of making their street credibility look legit and, because kids want to look like the musicians they look up to, BOOM, a fashion was born. And, much like skinny jeans on fat folks, it refuses to die! Butt, he-he, *ahem* there is a place in this wonderful country that says they are no longer going to put up with these "eye sores" any more. The town in Flint, Michigan says NO MORE!  Now, I assure you, I did not name this chart, butt, *giggles* it does sound like something I would say. I am just thankful places are starting to do something about it. I can just see these people 17 years down the road shaking their heads asking the question, what was I thinking? I am just ready for this "fashion" to die! Also, hey you, with the skinny jeans.... BACK AWAY! Yours truly, Lady Wit |
Test Jan. 20, 2010 *2 hours later* |
| This is a test, if it were not a test I would be flying out of your monitor right now screaming my head off. This is only a test! Lady Wit |
Seeing the light at the end of the tunnel... |
| WOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOO! I have finally made sommore progress on this site. You can now call the crisis center and let them know that I am no longer a suicide risk! More to come, Lady Wit |
The beginning.... |
| This site is causing me a lot of grief, all I wanted to do was write. I think I bit off more than I could chew.... *arrrrgh* WHAT WAS I THINKING???? Pulling my hair out, Lady Wit |